


Asymptotes

by Pikajimin



Series: What we could have been and what we should have been [1]
Category: Daenamhyup | DNH, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Angst, Friends With Benefits, I'm Sorry, M/M, btsxdnh, it took me a long time to sit down and write this, part one of a series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-07
Updated: 2016-05-07
Packaged: 2018-06-06 21:25:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6770503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pikajimin/pseuds/Pikajimin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Asymptotes, which can get closer and closer, but will never be together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Asymptotes

**Author's Note:**

> This is part one of my btsxdnh crossover series. It took me awhile to come up with the plot for the series. It's not in order nor do the stories intertwine with one another. Kudos+Comments are welcomed.

            It’s three in the morning and Hyosang is wide awake. Seokjin is sleeping peacefully next to him. He feels the guilt resting within him. Jin deserves better, deserves more that calls for sex with him. The blonde male deserves more that empty words. Seokjin deserves more than someone who is struggling to pay rent. He deserves the world and Hyosang can’t give that to him. And he's told Seokjin not to expect anything from him. Yet, Hyosang’s falling. He let the blonde male stay the night, let him sleep in his arms, let him top. Hyosang shouldn’t, but he is. He’s let Jin do a lot more than previous friends with benefits. He’s falling for Seokjin, and he knows deep down that he shouldn’t.

“Hyosang?” Seokjin groans.

“Go back to sleep,” he says softly.

“You too,” the blonde whispers.

            Hyosang wants to run his fingers through the blonde locks. He wants all the domestic shit that comes with a relationship. He looks at Jin, who is looking at him. (Jin’s lying flat on his stomach, using his arms as a pillow. Hyosang sighs. Jin is so beautiful, he thinks. He doesn’t deserve Seokjin. The blonde male deserves someone who can make him happy, and Hyosang can’t do that.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Seokjin asks.

“Not really. Don’t worry about it. Go back to sleep,” he replies.

“Hyosang,” Seokjin says softly.

“Seokjin, just don’t please,” he begs.

“Let’s go back to sleep,” the blonde says.

            Hyosang lets Seokjin hold him in his arms and it feel so right. He can hear the blonde’s heartbeat and it is calming. He falls asleep to the even breathes and steady heart beats of Seokjin. He dreams of normal days where he wakes up to Seokjin in his arms and smiling at him brightly. He dreams of lazy days when they stay in bed all day. He wants all of this, but Seokjin, Seokjin deserves more than him.

            Hyosang wakes up to the bed being empty. He can smell breakfast being cooked in the kitchen. He gets out of bed and puts on a pair of shorts. He walks out of his room and into the kitchen. Seokjin is standing in front of the stove cooking, wearing Hyosang’s shirt, that doesn’t quite fit. (The blonde still looks beautiful.) He wants to wrap his arms about the blonde’s waist and kiss his neck, but he doesn’t.

“You don’t have to cook breakfast,” Hyosang says.

“I want to though,” Seokjin states.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers.

“For what?” the blonde asks.

“About last night. I don’t want to talk about it. I still don’t want to talk about it,” he answers.

“It’s not going to get solved if you don’t talk about it,” says Jin.

“I think you should leave after we eat breakfast,” Hyosang states.

“Okay,” Jin replies.

            Hyosang can hear the disappointment in Jin’s voice and it hurts. The guilt is still there, and he doesn’t think it will go away. Seokjin serves them breakfast. Silence sits between them and it’s not pleasant. It’s unnerving. Hyosang doesn’t look up from his plate. He stares at the table, his hands, anything but Seokjin. He doesn’t want to talk about how the blonde can do so much better than him. There was a lingering thought that he had not too long ago. He thought about how Seokjin deserves someone like Namjoon. Namjoon can provide for Seokjin. Namjoon is a good guy, and he, he’s just someone below average. (He’s thankful to Namjoon for introducing him to Seokjin.) Seokjin is caring and nice. He’s not. He never went to college. He worked part time jobs for a while and is still working part time jobs. He’s not a famous producer like Donghyuk or Namjoon. He’s just there really.

“I’m leaving. I’ll see you later,” Seokjin says.

            He doesn’t answer the blonde male. He stares at his hands and how they are balled into a fist, nails cutting into his palms, knuckles turning white. He hears his bedroom door open and close. He hears the front door open and close. He stays sitting like this for a few minutes for finishing his breakfast and then getting ready to go to the studio. He looks at his phone and there are several messages from Donghyuk and one message from Namjoon.

_Namjoon: Is Jin there? 8:34pm 5/5/16_

_Donghyuk: Hyosang, fucking call me back. 9:05pm 5/5/16_

_Donghyuk: Hyosang, we need to talk. 9:56pm 5/5/16_

_Donghyuk: What the hell are you doing? 10:12pm 5/5/16_

_Donghyuk: Why are you doing this to yourself? 12am 5/6/16_

_Donghyuk: You NEED to talk to him. Just tell him the truth. 12:45am 5/6/16_

            Hyosang knows this. He needs to tell Seokjin. He needs to tell Seokjin that they shouldn't see each other anymore. He walks out of his apartment and walks to the studio. He knows that Donghyuk is going to be there. He knows that the younger male has to say a few words to him. He knows that the other male is going to lecture him on Seokjin. He just hopes that Namjoon isn’t there. He prays to a god that he doesn’t believe in that Namjoon is working today.

            When he gets there, Donghyuk is the only one there and he’s thankful. He’s not looking forward to having to deal with Namjoon now. He takes a seat on the couch and stares at Donghyuk’s back as the younger works. He thinks about what he is going to say and yet the words won’t come out of his mouth. The words are stuck in his throat and it’s choking him. Donghyuk turns around and stares at him.

“Hyosang, what are you doing?” Donghyuk asks.

“I don’t know anymore,” he answers.

“You have to talk to Seokjin. Namjoon’s on my ass about Jin,” the younger states.

“You don’t think I know that! I know I have to talk to him! And what am I supposed to say? Tell him that I like him, but he deserves someone better than me. He deserves someone like Namjoon. What am I supposed to say?” he questions.

“Hyosang, calm down,” Donghyuk says.

“I’m falling in love with him. It shouldn’t have turned out this way,” Hyosang says softly.

“But it did, and I think you should tell him that you love him,” the younger male states.

“Seokjin deserves better,” he says.

“You don’t know that. You don’t know what he deserves,” Namjoon says.

            Namjoon is standing at the door. He walks inside and closes the door behind him. He sits next to Hyosang. Hyosang is staring at his hands again. He doesn’t know what to say. Namjoon is right. He doesn’t know what Seokjin deserves, but he does know that he’s not it.

“I think he deserves you, Namjoon. I can’t give him what he wants. He deserves the world and you know that,” he answers.

“Hyosang,” Donghyuk says.

“He’s right. Seokjin does deserve the world. But I’m not the world he wants. He does like you, Hyosang. I hear it every day when he comes home from your place. He cares about you. If he didn’t care about you, he wouldn’t stay the night, cook you breakfast or even tell you that he misses you,” Namjoon says.

            Hyosang doesn’t say anything after that. After that, the three of them get to work. They don’t bring up Seokjin while they are working. Hyosang decides that he’ll talk to Seokjin after they are doing working. He sends the blonde a messaging, saying that they need to talk. Seokjin sends a simple okay back. They don’t get finished with working until a little after five in the evening. (Donghyuk called it quits after Hyosang stopped paying attention. Namjoon had to pick up his little brother from school as well.) Hyosang runs out the door and to his apartment. He climbs a flight of stairs and Seokjin is waiting outside the door for him.

“Hi,” Hyosang says.

“Hi,” Seokjin replies.

            Hyosang unlocks the door and they walk inside. He takes Seokjin by the hand and leads him to the couch. They both sit down. The words do not want to leave his throat. He can’t say it.  
He can’t tell Seokjin that he likes him. He can’t tell him that he wants him to stay. He just can’t.

“We shouldn’t do this anymore,” Hyosang says.

“Hyosang,” Seokjin says softly.

“You deserve the world and I can’t give it to you,” he explains.

“You don’t know what I deserve for one. And two how do you know that you aren’t what I deserve?” the blonde questions.

“You deserve someone like Namjoon, someone better than me. I’m struggling to pay rent. I’m struggling to survive,” Hyosang states.

“Namjoon? I deserve someone like Namjoon?” Seokjin asks.

            This wasn’t going where he wanted it to go. He wanted to tell Seokjin that he likes the blonde, but the words wouldn’t come out. He’s scared. He’s insecure and he knows it. He knows that this is the best thing to do. He looks at Seokjin and the blonde is furious. Seokjin should be mad at him. He should be angry at him. Jin has every right to be mad at him.

“I think it’s best if we just stop this all together,” he says.

“What if I think it’s not the best?” Seokjin questions.

“Seokjin,” Hyosang says softly.

“I care about you Hyosang. I really do. I wouldn’t have stayed the night, made you breakfast or even took care of you. If I didn’t care, I wouldn’t have done all of that. If I didn’t care about you, I wouldn’t be here right now. Call me when you decide to get over your insecurities,” Seokjin says.

            Hyosang watches Seokjin get up and leave. The front door opens then is slammed shut. And Hyosang is sitting there, alone. He fucked up, badly. He doesn’t even have the courage to tell Donghyuk and Namjoon. Namjoon was right. Seokjin really does care, but now it doesn’t even matter. Seokjin is gone and there’s no making it up to the blonde male. The blonde male isn’t coming back, nor is he going to answer Hyosang’s phone calls or messages. He can feel the tears well up in his eyes and he lets them fall. He hears his phone ring, but he doesn’t bother to answer. He just wants to be alone.

            He let something so beautiful walk out of his life. He should have told Seokjin. He should have tried to hold on. He should have and could have, but didn’t.


End file.
